Romancing A Hallmark Bakery

I admit that I have been watching the Hallmark channel this season. That is when I don’t fall asleep during dinner. Have you noticed that the heroines are all bakers? I love it! They all compete on national television like that’s some really cool thing. Not to mention how easy they make it look getting asked to compete. It’s Hallmark people! And in no way does it represent real life ay more than Buddy the baker in New York.
Seeing’s how I am a baker, I think I know a thing or two about true bakery life. Trust me, I am exhausted at the end of my day, my hair is in a ponytail. My makeup… my what? My apron is covered with chocolate or red frosting. I usually have frosting on my arms and have even found it in my ear! I go a hundred miles an hour and have almost no time for drama, much less a minute to sit and chat with you over a cup of coffee. If I step outside to look at the snowfall I am not thinking about the beauty. I’m thinking about how many customers will not be shopping with me today!
I’m already married, and you can ask the husband about bakery life and romance. Want a kiss? Ok but it is going to taste like sugar. What’s wrong with that you say? Uhm, sugar is actually quite stinky. Dirty feet come to mind. Sorry but it’s true. Ahhh the romance of dirty feet. Don’t hear that one on Hallmark.
Did you see the Hallmark Christmas movie about the girl who decides to enter competition in Germany or some obscure village in the region? She closes her shop two weeks before Christmas and flies away to places unknown, falls for the local prince, wins the competition, and heads home with no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Two weeks before Christmas? Seriously? With 20,000 cookies on the agenda and some of our best money-making weeks, I would be nuts to close. Plus, what competition organization is dumb enough to schedule during our number one holiday period.
I have been asked to do one of the cupcake wars shows. The time commitment and staffing are a joke for the romantic small bakery owner. Four weeks of all “theirs” right up front, and YOU bring the support staff. Again, no open doors, no customers. No customers, no business. See the trend here?
It’s all good that movies are an escape. And I love that Hallmark thinks every young woman wants to be a professional baker. To me, this rocks. Just make sure you come in to the business with a good head on your shoulder and a remote control off button. You will be too tired to watch TV anyway. Ahhh the romance.
Life is Short. Serve Dessert First!

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